Having a baby can be one of the most emotional experiences… For me, ours started out with uncertainty. I was on an IUD (The Paragard) when I became pregnant. My husband and I have been in a relationship for 11 years but we didn’t have a wedding until last October, we knew that we wanted more children but with the wedding planning and then the newly wed phase, we wanted to hold off and wait until we were really ready… but that wasn’t in the bigger plans for us 😉
Prior to having the Paragard inserted, I had only researched the effectiveness from studies done on the device. I never did a reverse lookup on the negative side of it and that’s where I went wrong. Seemingly, like with everything else that the government pushes, I ran into a great amount of discrepancies in studies. I ended up one of the “0.003%” of women who became pregnant while using the IUD.
At first, I was just really confused. A part of me didn’t know what to think. For the longest time, I reminded myself over and over again that I could not get attached because of the issues that came with pregnancy and the IUD. It wasn’t until I had a 4D ultrasound at 32 weeks that it dawned on me – I was having another baby. I would walk around life talking about the baby and getting everyone else prepared for a new person to come into our lives but at the same time, holding back my own attachment and happiness for what was to come. It has almost been like holding my breath until the baby arrives.
I always think about what the kids are feeling. In this situation it has been them that help to keep me going. Their excitement for the new baby is something that really just helps me to be optimistic. Of course the younger two might not even realize what is going on but they embrace the changes going on. They see that I look different and they see that for me, sometimes I’m sick or sometimes I have pains and they’re always there to help make things just a little bit better for me.
Overall, this has definitely been a journey. It’s a lot of ups and downs, but as we near the due date, I feel like I can really only prepare my home, my heart and my life for a person that I am just going to completely fall in love with the second I meet them.