My life as mama

I'm not an anti-vaxxer, I'm a Mother.

I feel that there are ideas that segregate us as parents, even banishing some from school activities and groups. Personally, I don’t claim to be a part of any one group. This post is not meant to change your mind about vaccinations, but instead, open your heart to people like me who have been through something,  we’re mothers with a story.

(this post does contain an affiliate link at the bottom, I make $20 when you sign up for 23&me.)


I want to make one thing clear; I am not an Anti-Vaxxer.

Do vaccines work? I don’t know. I’m not a doctor, or a scientist, but I am a person that has learned from my own first-hand experiences. I have children who have had a very small amount of vaccines, and others who have not had any – all of them achieve their milestones at their own pace, none are behind, and they are all happy, energetic children. They don’t have superpowers, and they aren’t “smarter” than the rest of the children around. My children are just like any other children, but a round of routine vaccinations ended up changing our lives, forever.

Feel free to pin this article using this image! 

I don’t push my beliefs on other people – but I do talk about this openly with the people that I care about because if I didn’t, and their child had a reaction, I would feel like a terrible person.

My child had a reaction – IT DOES HAPPEN. When I talk about this issue, most have at least been empathetic, but some of them have delayed or stopped vaccinating while they do further research. That is what makes sense to them. You can always choose to vaccinate at any point, but if you do and there is a reaction – you cannot take it back.. Something I wish I had heard before I became a mother.

One of our children was temporarily paralyzed after her 1 year vaccinations. Her immediate symptoms were a fever and lethargy, the night of the shots. She had already taken her first steps, and was on her way to walking prior to the vaccinations. Within 48 hours of the visit, she was unable to walk or even stand up, she was only able to army crawl around the house for months, dragging her limp body behind her. After she was able to walk again, the eczema was still present. She would scratch herself raw so often, and so deeply, in order to protect her skin, we needed to put onesies on her with tights during the summertime, so that she couldn’t scratch her feet or the back of her knees.

There are many other mothers out there, just like me.

The laws in America make life harder for us because in some places, we are being threatened with mandatory vaccinations for all children, no matter the circumstances. This to me is essentially treating people as though we were “manufactured” each and exactly the same. It is stripping us of our rights. According to some of the laws, genetics don’t matter, religious or personal beliefs either. I feel as though the parents who don’t want the mandatory vaccinations are those like me, who have been through this before and are petrified to be forced into vaccinating again.

There is the argument that we’ve eradicated some of the serious infectious diseases, but did we trade it for higher instances of SIDS, Autism (I’m not saying vaccines cause Autism – I’m just stating the facts) and childhood cancer? Mental health disorders? There is the argument of herd immunity, but yet pro vaccine people want to say that our kids pose a danger to people who are vaccinated? It makes no sense.

After a good amount of research, and having face to face conversations with local doctors; a pediatrician, an OBGYN, and a family medicine doctor, I began looking into the link between genetics, food allergies and vaccine reactions. One that came up was the MTHFR gene mutation (this is not a rare gene mutation)

Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) is the gene that has the job of producing an enzyme that converts folic acid to methylfolate, a bioavailable form of vitamin B9. Deficiencies of Vitamins B6, B12, and folate increase homocysteine levels which in turn, causes inflammation in the body. A normal MTHFR gene will turn this switch on or off and will produce glutathione, the single most important antioxident for us.

Glutathione is what helps our bodies to rid itself of the toxins that cause disease. When our body isn’t producing glutathione, secondary to genetic mutations like an MTHFR mutation, the disease process is enhanced due to the build-up of toxicity in the body. Disorders such as autism, ADHD, autoimmune diseases, multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, heart disease, addiction, and miscarriages have been linked to MTHFR mutations.

(in short: if you have this genetic mutation, your body is not able to detox certain things like heavy metals which are used as a perservative in some vaccines)

I also found that some vaccines contain egg, dairy, and wheat, so I then set out to do genetic testing, and food sensitivities testing to find out who our family is, from the inside out. Sure enough, both came back that we have not only egg, dairy and wheat sensitivities, but the MTHFR gene mutation as well – both my husband and I. This was surprising to me, because I now know that my child cannot eat foods containing these ingredients, let alone have them injected into their bodies. Also – that they are unable to process other ingredients in vaccines such as mercury and aluminum. This creates a neuro-toxin buildup in their brain which can make their entire system go haywire (autoimmune diseases, autism, allergic reactions, etc.)

My husband actually suffers from a gluten allergy to where if he ingests it, his throat closes and he cannot swallow food or water.

Most states have three vaccine exemptions;

Medical – Allowed when a child has a medical condition that prevents them from receiving a vaccine. All but three states offer non-medical exemptions for religious or philosophical reasons.

Religious – The person must belong to a particular religious believer because of his sincere religious beliefs, whatever they might be. Courts are forbidden from determining whether a belief is reasonable. 

Philosophical – Twenty states allow for exemptions from vaccines based on personal belief (called philosophical or personal belief exemptions). These laws create a very low bar for parents to obtain an exemption. Often they simply have to check a box stating they don’t want to vaccinate their children, and that is sufficient.

At this point, I would assume a Medical Exemption would be offered in this case – if a parent gave their child peanut butter knowing that they had an allergy… and the child died from it, I’m sure that mother would be prosecuted for murder. It would be on the news, and people would be outraged.. maybe an angry mob would be outside of her house – but that isn’t the case. I am directed by doctors who have never seen my child, to give them something that could diminish their quality of life or even kill them. I know that my child is allergic to the ingredients, yet because its not a “documented widespread issue” (don’t get me started here, or do- in the comments, on instagram etc.) that is written into law – my child doesn’t qualify for a medical exemption.

Medical exemptions are typically only written in cases where the child has already had a reaction – okay so, the one child gets the exemption, but what about their siblings? Not a chance. Even though they are cut from the same cloth? No. They would need to have reactions of their own, and what kind of mother would I be to go and subject them to that? In some states, the child will only have an exemption from that ONE vaccine, not all of them.. even though some of the allergy ingredients are present across the panel of suggested vaccinations. There is the other way around this like in places such as California – you can have a medical exemption written if 4 immediate family members have an auto-immune disorder that “qualifies” FOUR family members, blood related only – 2 generations back max. Or you happen to find a really great doctor who wants to help you out – these doctors are few and far between because they can be heavily scrutinized or worse, for writing a medical exemption.

Next, we have Religious Exemptions and these are pretty straightforward – in most states you just have your Pastor, Minister, Deacon etc. sign a form that you are a part of their congregation and that they don’t believe in vaccinations. (There are several bible verses that specifically discuss injections as well as mixing animal DNA with human DNA.)

Philosophical Exemptions are the easiest to obtain, they don’t take any second signature and all you need to provide is a line of text on a pre-written form that states you are knowingly putting your child at risk for death and illness if you don’t vaccinate them… ridiculously worded, but that is what the form states – unless you’re in.. say… Idaho where they make it all easy and relaxed and you can basically put “I don’t want to vaccinate” and sign your name, then… you’re good. Or you can be like a truly passionate person and thoroughly explain why you don’t vaccinate.. whatever your preference, it is up to you. Good on you Idaho, that’s thinking!

I am not an anti-vaxxer, I am a parent who allowed a nurse to administer a vaccine to their child that was said to be safe, that was being given to protect my child, but instead – it hurt her. It delayed her growth, and it took away the childhood she knew prior to the vaccine. All of the effects that she suffered are written on the insert (FYI – the insert is different from the colorful fun papers they give you at the doctor, it is a loooong paper, folded up that only the pharmacists and staff have, it is in the bottom of the box of vaccine viles, but can be found online. There, you can see what kind of DNA you’re potentially injecting, hamster, monkey, human baby.. yeah… no thanks.)

So, how do we fix this? I have some ideas;
We all have genetic mutations (40-60% of the population worldwide has the MTHFR gene mutation) and some of us have sensitivities and allergies to environmental factors and some foods.. if a parent already knows this information about their child, why is that not included in the medical exemption? It is real science, documented firm facts here – yet it is dismissed completely.

Routine genetic testing during the 1st trimester screening or at birth? I paid $125 to 23&me to find out that we were MTHFR positive, it is that simple and is very inexpensive. Had I known about the test sooner, my child wouldn’t have needed to go through what she did, and I wouldn’t have to live my life full of guilt over something that could have been prevented with testing.

Parents are required to sign a refusal when vaccines are offered, but they are not required to look over each and every ingredient, look over the possible side effects and are not presented with the number of cases that are brought to court involving adverse reactions. All of this should be given to the parents before making a potentially life-changing decision. Informed consent is not being practiced prior to vaccinations being administered and I believe it is affecting America’s youth and future generations negatively.

Can we trust that the listed ingredients are what is actually in each and every vaccine? What about variations? Are they all created equally? Can we trust that they have been handled properly? I can’t – it is just like the romaine lettuce E. Coli outbreak, you think what you’re consuming is healthy – but somewhere along the way, the supply was tainted and now people are sick. There are just too many issues for me to go ahead and say yes to vaccinations, do I think you’re a bad parent for doing them? No. Will I treat you differently? No. Can my children play with yours? I’m cool with that.. what about you?


final thoughts

It takes a village.

Most of the time, when I talk about our story, people are very respectful and they listen. On the other hand, I read the comments on the news stories where people are wishing death to unvaccinated kids, or claim that the parents should be jailed.. without even knowing the half of it. In one instance, I found a man’s facebook profile who had shaken his child to a point where now, the child will never live any kind of a life, other than from a bed.. hooked up to hospital machines. On his profile, it was nothing but hateful statements against people who choose not to vaccinate. The bottom line is, we’re not all created equally. We’re all different.

So we may not think exactly alike.. or even close – but what I ask of you, is to put yourself in my position, a mother who nearly lost the child she had spent 10 months growing, birthed unmedicated, and spent a year raising with the intention of bringing a productive person into society to live a long life.



For those of you who haven’t been through what I have;

Be thankful that you haven’t been faced with the fight of your life, because this doesn’t end for moms like me. We will forever be forced out of neighborhoods, play groups, turned away from schools and protesting something that is so simple.

Before you make rude comments online, and classify moms like me as uneducated.. 

Think about how scary it was for me to realize that I made a mistake in not educating myself sooner.

While creating your own thoughts about how I raise my children

Think about how… going forward, I now read the labels of every single thing I allow into their mouths (it is as exhausting as it seems ingredients are disguised by lengthy hard to read words… alternate names, etc.)

this is my version of motherhood.

further reading


For those of you interested in learning more about vaccinations from the other side..

I started with “The Vaccine Book” By Dr. Sears, in the book he outlined each vaccine and some of the ingredients – what the purpose of the vaccine is and whether or not he recommends it. I got a few chapters into the book, maybe not even that – and then decided to move into the heavier stuff, interviewing doctors and the internal  research about our genetics.

Since the release of the book, Dr Sears has been labelled as an anti-vaccine doctor. This is based off of opinions formed within the mainstream media after Dr. Sears began treated his patients with the idea that all should have the right to informed consent. Nonetheless, that is how I started my research and I found it to be helpful, even though the book is written with a pro-vaccine tone.

I will warn you

In some states (like California, West Virginia and Mississippi) there is no way around vaccinations for school-aged children, and in some states, the laws there are written in a way that if you do not take a doctor’s order, you can be arrested and your children can be placed elsewhere. If you are not in a position to move and currently live in a state where your rights have been taken on this issue, it may be a huge life change to proceed with research. All of our family members live in California, and because of their laws, we cannot live there – so we do this on our own, because we feel that this is the right choice for our family, even without the help that most large families have. We do all of this because we love our children and it is so much harder than turning a blind eye.